It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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