Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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