I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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