Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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