I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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