Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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