Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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