If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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