currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize