After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize