I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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