oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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