I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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