...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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