there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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