you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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