Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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