In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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