I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i out mim tonsoeep
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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