babies were throwing up all over the place
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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