there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize