hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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