i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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