Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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