the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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