his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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