Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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