Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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