I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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