I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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