you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize