i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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