Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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