Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize