I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
did i just pee glitter
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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