your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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