You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I party with great urgency now.
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