Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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