Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize