It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize