I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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