Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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