I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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