And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize