you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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