I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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