Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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