yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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