Christians are straight up FREAKS
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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