seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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