Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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