I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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