Plan B is the new Plan A
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize