Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it was like eating out sand paper
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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